Departing heading towards a spectacular arrival!

There’s been a major shift in my journey to Europe. My beautiful boyfriend Dane has arrived (that was a month ago now) and we have covered a lot of ground since his arrival. Our trip so far has consisted of a couple of weeks in Bosnia, including a trip to Dubrovnik with our friend Pavel, a short stint with family in the north of Bosnia, a night in Zagreb and just under a week in Budapest, Hungary. We have been in Egypt for about a week now, having spent our first couple of days in chaotic Cairo and the other five in super chilled out Dahab. Never thought I’d be one of those people that pulls a laptop out while in transit, but here I am, typing in the dark on a 8 hour bus from Dahab back to Cairo. This part of the trip has been jam packed with adventure and inspiration, and some hilarious moments of oblivion (I thought I lost my wallet for a second time and Dane thought he got robbed in Cairo...but both times the precious stuff was recovered...thank you universe!).

With all the bus-catching, bag lugging, eating (amazing food!), dodging shams, sun catching, swimming, snorkelling, reading, chatting, general travel shenanigans, I’ve developed my ability to sleep anywhere even more so than I thought possible. Keeping things light and going with the randomness that comes with constant movement and new places has become pretty natural. Dane’s good at laughing at what may at first appear to be too much of a compromise. But then again, I think it’s been a nice two way road, the travel companion in him has been very welcome after 4 months of solace.

There’s something that has shifted in me as a result of this whole trip though. I’ve now completed the Bosnian and Croatian part of my journey, and what an incredible ride it was. I have only a small gauge for the significant impact that part of my trip had on me, or will have on me in the future. It kind of sounds like a bit of a general and overarching comment about a very layered experience, but I think the effects of this part of my life will only come to surface and make themselves known as I, in parallel and almost separate, delve deeper below the surface to witness the enormity of the iceberg.

There were a number of parts or aspects to leaving. The first and obvious one is physically departing. The second is saying ‘goodbye, for now’ to the amazing friends made in Sarajevo. The third was packing my things and sorting what is to come with me for the rest of the journey. The fourth was saying farewells to the place that I made home for 3 months, my little haven nestled in the hills. The fifth, and possibly one of the most important was actually consciously leaving Bosnia and trying to keep my mind connected to what my body was doing automatically…leaving.

I can’t really say that it’s easy. I’ve had spurs of realization throughout the last ten days or so that I’m not actually going to be going back to Sarajevo this time. I’m not on a short trip away to go see family or a new place, and that after this final leg of travel I’m actually going home. Staying present and knowing that I’ve just spent the last 4 or so months working my little butt off trying to reconstruct my childhood, connect with relatives and a land that was a significant but distant mystery to me has been relatively difficult. At times I’ve felt like I was kind of not really doing much, you know, slacking off, not working, not actively pursuing something that’s part of that social norm…maybe. For example, I wasn’t employed, I wasn't studying, I wasn’t doing something that took the good part of a week, had no major commitments, and settling into a pretty simple lifestyle. When I stripped away the activities and people that I usually define myself by when I’m back home, the stuff that was left bare was in reality the stuff that actually defines me – me. It was kind of like staring in a mirror and having conversations about the things that shaped me – so it’s like talking to your child self, your adolescent self, your young adult self, and finally the self that you know now – pretty incredible and powerful stuff.

In the first weeks of being exposed to this new reflective kind of activity, it kind of felt like I had been placed at the foot of a mountain and was told to work out a way to climb over it in the next few months. I had to maintain it and sort of self-direct my learning, the whole time making sure I feel like I’m actually being productive. It’s a bit difficult to put into words, but when everything that you’re used to is left behind, dormant, and all you have is a clean slate and some basic starting points (and 24 hours in every day) I felt as though I could be ‘doing’ much more. When I went through my weeks and explored my surroundings, saw places, met people and got a bit of an idea of where I stood with my family, I actually started to really embrace what was happening. I was gathering memories that would serve my current/present self in the now. When I consciously realised this, I truly started to enjoy my trip. This was the hard part to leave behind in the end. I did feel ready though, and am still really looking forward to getting back to Melbourne and starting on a range of projects, ideas, career stuff, list goes on.

One of the brilliant aspects of this whole journey, and something that I’m grateful for, is that I actually got my shit together and did it. I’ve been dreaming about it for a few years, daydreaming about what it feels like to have the guts and the adventurous spirit needed to do it. Giving myself the space to go over things as many times as I need to (about anything and everything) became almost a meditative exercise. During the preparations for this trip my plans changed a lot, but what it morphed into was kind of back to its original form. It all started with a fantasy of sitting in a small cafe in the old town of Sarajevo, and watching the people go by – taking in what it was all about. I wanted to sit back and allow for Bosnia to define itself for me so that I could mesh together the geographically scattered ‘Sejla’s’ from around the world. And it did just that.

Thanks for reading!

Sej x

Lukomir Mostar Srebrenica

The last couple of weekends have been filled with mini trips out to various parts of Bosnia so that I can get a bit of an idea of what the country looks like along the way, and to see other cities. I don't think I really need to explain!

The first location was the highest and most isolated village in Bosnia, called Lukomir. It's about an hour's drive out of Sarajevo and on the way you pass the Olympic ski fields of '84. It was a beautiful misty drive up on a Sunday morning. I went with my friend Juliet, her boss' dad and sister, their neighbour (affectionately named Dedo) and a French traveller and friend. Dzevad and Nedzla (the dad and sister of Haris, who is Juliet's boss and friend) were going to go visit and old lady in the village who has lost all her family. They were taking winter supplies to her because they had heard that she was living in the isolated village all on her own over winter, with no access to or from the nearest town. She is over 80 years old. I was honored to be able to go on such a trip, and be part of the delivery.

The village itself is nestled in amongst beautiful mountains and has a certain clear sparseness. The vegetation consists mostly of grasses and a few shrubs, and the animals that were visible to us were mostly birds and insects. The people in the village are shepherds, mostly sheep, but also have cows for milk. They also have cats and chickens - all of which seemed fairly well looked after. The houses are almost indescribable. They are made mostly of a cool grey stone, and have iron rooves. Their shape is mostly square and all but a few are single storey. They have been there for hundreds of years, and the people that own them live there over summer, and have other homes in Sarajevo for winter (or in a town closer to Sarajevo where they have better access to food and other products).

The people of Lukomir are used to the travellers that come to see their way of secluded life, and understand modern technology even if they don't have access to their own. They are warm, welcoming (though I've heard being Bosnian helps), and full of stories. The striking aspect of the whole trip was the honesty of the place. There were no facades, no masks, just people and this vast nothingness in all directions. We ate sirnica (a pastry filled with cheese) and grah (beans) and drank coffee with the locals, and had a look around the village. We bought a few locally made products and drove away. It was an enlightening experience.

The second trip that I have done was a day trip to Mostar, the largest city in Hercegovina (sort of the southern state). I went with two good friends, and we met up with one of the locals for a walk around town and lunch. Mostar is completely different to Sarajevo. It is a city in a valley and is largely and fiercely separated into two ethnic halves - one for the Bosnian Muslims and the other for the Bosnian Catholics (originating from the bordering Croatia). During the last war, the Croatian forces (or people)that were fighting in Mostar were fighting for the Bosnian Muslim side, but at a point throughout the war they changed sides. The Bosnian Muslims were then fighting against a much bigger force. I don't really know enough about this specific battle and region because I have yet to do a formal tour of the city, but all I know is that there is a very clear divide.

The city itself is beautiful, and well worth visiting. The train trip between Sarajevo and Mostar alone is worth the trip. Mostar is famous for it's old bridge that was built by the Ottomans about 427 years ago. 'Most' in Bosnian means bridge, and a 'mostar' is a keeper of the bridge, so that is how the city got it's name. During the war, this bridge was blown up for no other reason than cruelty and for the sake of destroying culture and history. The Bosnian Croat forces broke the city's heart. However, it was reconstructed and now stands as a symbol of peace. The bridge is also famous for diving off. There are a number of diving schools in Mostar, who perform for tourists during the warmer months. They jump the 24m from the bridge's peak into the Neretva River below. It looks like an exhilarating jump, but one I would be terrified to do considering the many whirlpools in the river. We saw two divers do it while we were there - all I can say is WOW!

The third place that I visited was Srebrenica, which was a couple of days ago. This place was by far the most traumatic and raw place that I've been to in Bosnia. It is the location of the biggest act of genocide that was committed since WW2, in July of 1995. I won't go into details here because I've found it incredibly difficult to unwind since the weekend, but basically - in a span of days, it has been estimated that over 8,500 men and boys were slaughtered by the Bosnian Serb forces purely because of their ethnic and religious background. They were herded like sheep, shot in the back in various locations around Bosnia and then buried in mass graves all over what is now Republika Srpska (or the Republic of Serbia, a supposed separate entity from actual Serbia itself). The graves were then dug up months later (and bodies were torn apart and seperated) and then reburied in other locations. This was done using large mechanical equipment, in order to attempt to cover up the genocide. The whole world watched this happen, and the whole world allowed it. The bodies are still being identified (painfully slow process), and mass burial ceremonies are held every year since it happened. This year over 720 bodies were laid to rest.

Potocari (the location of where it all started, which is just outside of Srebrenica) now has a memorial centre and harem (Muslim graveyard) for the fallen. We visited this place, and it was chilling.

I cannot begin to describe my tears, fear, frustration, anger, sadness, terror, and angst last Sunday. It was an awful yet important experience.

The peace agreement that was signed by the military forces of former Yugoslavia is called the Dayton Agreement, and was signed in the US after Srebrenica happened. This agreement has allowed the Bosnian Serb forces to have pretty much half of Bosnia and they renamed this half the Republika Srpska. So not only did the international community allow for the genocide, they also actively participated in handing over exactly what the Serbian forces wanted.

I've been avoiding writing this blog for a couple of days, but felt I should before some of the feelings and experiences become less raw.

Sorry to leave it on a bit of a low note, but the key factor here is that I walked away feeling extremely lucky and grateful for what I have, and how lucky my family was. I'm very positive about having come on this journey, but am looking forward to leaving in a lot of ways. It has been intense, to say the least.

Thanks for reading, the next blog will most likely be a final one from Bosnia!

Sej xx

A seasonal change and a Bajram on the horizon

The seasons are starting to shift, both here and in Melbourne and I feel a bit of a change in tone. The next month or so will be an interesting mix of the familiar and the new.

Hello to my loyal followers...and a warm welcome to those who only just clicked on. When I say warm..I mean literally! We're all currently sharing the amazing warmth of autumn/spring weather, where you wake up to that amazing crisp morning air, and take in the afternoon sunshine.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty interesting. I've started to develop the green curriculum that I've been mentioning. Basically, what it consists of at the moment is a 'Contents' page full of themes around the environment and sustainability. The aim is to develop each of these themes into something tangible and something that can be presented to a room full of hormonal Bosnian teenagers. What a task it's become! In the last week I've been doing a bit of research for the first major theme (and one that appears to be the biggest mountain in the world right now): water. So, what have I found out?

The water and wastewater systems here in Sarajevo are relatively complex - as far as I was aware to this point, there was no water authority and the water management systems were lacking from all directions. But it has come to my attention that it's not quite that simple. The authority (maybe not exactly the same in the way that the system is run in Australia, but still an authoritative organisation that's funded by the government) is called 'Vodovod i Kanalizacija d.o.o Sarajevo'. They are responsible for providing clean drinking water and sanitation for Sarajevo - but I wasn't really able to get too much information out of their website. What I'm surprised by is the amount of water that's lost through leakage and other losses annually - a figure greater than what I expected, and comparable to that what is used by people annually.

I've also realised that there's a significant ratio of text that I struggle with in terms of technical language..something that is hindering my ability to gather informative data about the various green topics. Bosnian is a bit enigmatic sometimes!

The lessons or workshops that we're looking at developing once we have the basic information together is going to be a mix of theory and practice to make it more interesting. The practice will hopefully include games an activities that allow the kids to stay interested for one thing, but also imprint some of the important points for each of the themes. I had this view that each theme would be presented as a stand alone lesson, but my friend Adis (the guy that I'm working with) seems to think that it would be better to do it all as a one time thing and hit the kids with a massive weekend of green learning instead. Unfortunately I won't be here to implement the workshops and see how our ideas go in practice, but I'm going to stay in touch with Adis and hopefully keep on helping from a distance.

One over-riding feeling at the moment - I want to tell the kids everything I know...I want to do a massive brain dump and just blast them with the information overload and share with them the complexities of true sustainability and climate change. Thrill them with the concept - and blow their minds at how epically we seem to have globalised everything - almost to the point of no return. But I guess that's something I have to contain, and just keep it as stagnant potential energy that will keep my passion for the environment going. Scare them a bit at a time!

In between the bits of information gathering, I've been doing a teeny bit of translation work and a lot of hanging out with friends that are leaving Sarajevo pretty soon. I've managed to see a few hills that I haven't really seen before - but have mostly been keeping it pretty low key. It's been good!

Next on the agenda - disco fever dancing tomorrow night (ah yeah) and then going back to Gradiska early next week. My grandma Hanifa is leaving the country to go back to her winter home in Sweden and this will be the last (and I'm sure emotional) time I'll see her for this trip. It's also Bajram next week, which is the big celebration at the end of Ramadan, the fasting month of Islam. This will be the first time I spend Bajram with the grandparents in I can't even remember how long. Pretty excited.

When I come back, it's a couple of weeks of hanging in Sarajevo and then Dane arrives - I can't even begin to put my excitement and anticipation for seeing this man into words.

That's it for now!

Thank you for reading.

Sej xx

Polako, bona.

There's a word here in Sarajevo that's used a lot, and it resonates with the Aussie in me - polako (poh-la-ko). It has a simple and humble meaning: slowly (direct translation), do what you're doing with ease (indirect) - or in Aussie terms, take it easy, mate.

So I've been trying to take that advice a little bit. Ease up and take pleasure in things like the fact that I can eat breakfast on my bedroom window sill while looking over the overgrown hedge, and take in the view of Sarajevo from my perched little spot on the hill. Take pleasure in the fact that I live on a hill - be humbled by the fact that not everything is around the corner - and that it takes time and effort to get to places and do all the shopping I need in one go. Then there's also the ease one has to force on themselves when you get your first fine for fare evasion on a tram (fuckers!) and the complete and utter disappointment that comes with realising your wallet's gone missing in Bosnia.

In the last couple of weeks I've parted with my wallet which I got from my first ever Woodford experience and all it's precious contents, I've been mildly homesick while watching the crazy freak show circus that is our federal election, I've gone on a pretty wild overnight train experience to Zagreb in Croatia in order to vote at the Australian embassy with my friend Juliet, I've started a project called 365 (you take a photo that defines your day for 365 days in order to document your life over a year), I've met a radical environmentalist - a novelty here in Bosnia, I've had a friend visit for a week, I've hosted my first couch surfer (most likely to be future housemate back in Melbourne...crazy), and I've discovered the wonderful world of DM - the German Priceline-esque store that makes me feel like I'm back home with it's earl grey tea and muesli.

Deep breath.

Wow. It's been a big couple of weeks when I put it like that!

I've noticed myself falling into a bit of a trap though - my life has become a bit of a permanent holiday in some ways. I've committed myself to translation work with an environmental activist group, but the work is freelance so I take my work home. Did I mention I have a degree in procrastination? A PhD, in fact! On the agenda for the next 6 weeks- hopefully get into a routine of walking these hills that surround me (don't worry I'll go where there aren't any land mines!), keep on practicing guitar, and hopefully get into more of this environmental activist work.

One thing that I will be starting this week is setting up a green curriculum for primary schools. It's a total pilot project that I'm going to be working on with my new friend Adis, and we have no true idea of how successful it'll be in practice, but we're gonna give it a damn good shot. My idea was to set up a set of 5 or 6 themes surrounding the most important environmental issues in Sarajevo, using a common lesson plan or template proforma. That's about as far as I've got with my idea at this stage - but hoping to turn it into something practical by the time I'm due to leave!

The next week will also consist of potentially a trip to Gradiska (depending on one of my grandma's plans) and a canyoning trip - that's right...I've signed up for some extreme sport action next weekend - let's hope I come back in one piece. I'm a little nervous, but...well...fuck it. Polako, and it'll all be fine.

And on that note, I am going to spare you my political commentary and leave this blog void of politics.

Hope you are all well, full and happy my darling readers.

Thanks and polako, bona!

Sej xx

Settle in Sarajevo

Woa! It's been a freaky deaky while, hasn't it?

I haven't blogged for what feels like almost a month and to be honest I don't really know where to begin, almost! I've been working pretty hard at settling in the ol' town of Sarajevo.

So what's the hap's?

Last time I checked, there are major floods in Pakistan which are now considered to be worse than the tsunami that devastated the world not so long ago; Mexican waters are still a complete mess and BP's CEO resigned; Tony Abbott is a tosser among tossers in the land of politics (thank you GetUp! for your awesome ad campaign highlighting this particular dimwit's attitude towards wom*n!); my parents have painted the house; my sister's, partner's, brother's, wife is pregnant; my boyfriend's dad's driving from Melbourne to Perth for charity; little Winona entered the world (congrats Nat and Jaes - she's freakin' beautiful!); and today was the first day of Ramadan - the Muslim month of fasting. And I've hit the half way point of my trip!

A lot can happen in a matter of weeks! Congratulations Simon and Sarah, if you're out there somewhere reading this!

So what's been going on in the world of Sarajevo? Well, a lot actually. I arrived back to what is now my home about two weeks ago with the intention to stick around for about a month. I spent the first week or so 'faffing' around and getting random bits and pieces sorted out for my flat. I also attended some cool events for the Sarajevo International Film Festival. I had a profound realisation after seeing one movie in particular, which had small snippets of Melbourne life. I worked it out.

What exactly, did I work out?

Well - frankly - my identity. I think I've got it, finally. I know where I belong and why. I'm Australian. I have a very deep connection to the land here in Bosnia, but not for the same reasons that I have connections to the land in Australia. I've spent so much of my life in Australia and so much of what Australia represents is familiar to me. Even with it's somewhat deranged and un-inspirational politicians, I'm completely in love with that little island of ours.

How stupidly simple is that?

In saying all this though, I don't want to discredit or undermine the beautiful experiences, people, landscapes and musical fun that I've experienced in Bosnia and Croatia. This place has something very old, wise, and deeply moving about it. I feel like I understand the culture a little better than ever in my life and I can safely say that I am slightly defensive of this patch of Earth, but I couldn't live here for longer than intended for this trip. Huh! What a relief. Now I know.

So, after this spectacular bit of work aside (by work I mean working out my identity), I was left a little unsettled. It's been difficult to know exactly where to begin a 2 month stint in one particular location, and to know that I have no specific commitments. So I started working on the practicalities. I've been looking for a bit of volunteer work and managed to find a couple of organisations that focus on environmental awareness and activism, and eco tourism. This has been very exciting. This city is all about growth at the moment. It's all about developing a status in the world which allows for people to visit without thinking that it's a war torn zone.

The city is filled with backpackers. I hear an Australian accent almost on a daily basis. I definitely see at least 10 foreigners within the first 10 minutes of being in the Old Town. I have a feeling that the next 5-10 years in BiH will shift dramatically, on both the touristic and political scenes. Why? Well, when the backpackers start to brag about the affordability of travelling the Balkans, the more conservative (and let's face it - richer) tourists will follow - and this will change the market for local business. Politicians will be driven to promote the country...and I'm hoping will finally join the EU. I'm also hoping that they'll drop the ridiculous policy that stops Bosnian citizens from leaving the country without a visa. At the moment, if anyone here wants to travel anywhere...and I mean anywhere outside of this country, they have to apply for a visa - which is an arduous and long process of dodging red tape, bureaucratic bullshit, and nasty public sector workers. It's a nightmare. I wish that the intelligent and energetic youth of Sarajevo could leave as freely as Australian youth to discover the wonderful parts of Western Europe, UK, Africa, Asia, Australia, USA and...anywhere their heart's desire.

If only the beautifully giving people of Sarajevo and Bosnia could experience things through travel and bring their newly acquired self-learning back to work, to life and eventually grow old here, knowing for certain that this is the place for them. Just like I've had the chance to discover that Australia is where I want to do all those things.

So on another political note, I get to vote twice in the next couple of months. I hear that the election is going to be interesting back home. I am planning a little overnight trip to Zagreb with my friend in order to vote (it's the closest place we can do it, and our postal ballet papers haven't arrived on time...thanks Australia!)which should be loads of fun. I have yet to work out how to register here in Bosnia, but I'm sure it'll involve a bunch of stupid paperwork.

I've also started guitar lessons, am painting on occasion, and had a friend visit for the last week. It's certainly been eventful!

I'm definitely excited about the next couple of months here. I'm also very excited about Dane's arrival, our travel together and our arrival home. Ah the adventures of now. What an interesting 'now' to be alive.

Thanks for reading, and hope to write again much sooner.

Sej xx

Labour on a Leash

The last few weeks have become a bit of a blur - after settling into a place for a few days in Sarajevo, I hit the road about a week and a half ago to spend some time with family and go down to the beautiful Dalmatian coast of Croatia. It was magnificant, with it's clear, warm waters and beautiful cliffs, vegetation, fauna and smiling happy people. I had a really great time.

I was on the island of Brac, which is a 50 minute ferry ride south of Split for those that know their geography. My cousin Marijana and I stayed in a student dorm in a small town on the island called Pucisce. This town hasn't really been hit by tourist stampeads yet so it was pretty quiet, and we got a taste of the normal lifestyle that goes on among the locals. So no Euro-Turbofolk night clubbing, but one has to cut their losses when under such extreme circumstances.

We seriously struck gold.

The place we were in was in line with a 4-star hotel and had a room to ourselves, breakfast and dinner every day, our own bathroom and fridge space, and across the road from one of the best swimming spots in town...all for the price of a typical night in a Split hostel. I got a bit of a tan!

We also visited the other side of the island - a town called Bol, which has the most famous beach on the island (pictured above). It really is something else! I couldn't quite believe the beauty of it all and that I was there. I missed out on snorkelling and other water sports though, due to lack of planning this time, but we spent all day lounging on the beach and swimming.

In among all of this pristine beauty and amazing landscape, I also found out about Julia Gillard's climate policy and her inability to recognise the public's cries for action. Talk about a sinker.

From the snippets of media releases I've read and Julia Gillard's speech for the election anouncement, Australian politics seems to be lagging, still. Australia may have an Environmental Protection Authority, recycling (though off-shore half the time!), world class water treatment, and other environmental policies, we seem to be lagging in terms of climate action just as much as Bosnia - which lacks all of the above.

It's not fair that Australia's young generation that is now entering the workforce and influential voting basket is not getting what it was promised - firmer action on climate change.

I happily voted for K-Rudd and labour in 2007, and nervously crossed my fingers in front of a friend's TV as I followed the election. I cheered and hoo-rahed as he won more and more votes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I thought 'now my thoughts and actions may actually come to fruition'. But I was fooled - by a government made up of politicians that are led around Canberra by the mining and coal lobbyists.

Labour is on a leash. It's complicated, simply put.

The environmental movement in Australia, and in fact around the world, is campaigning and fighting for social, political, financial, environmental, economic and moral reasons. Never, ever have we all had to fight for all of these things at the same time. All previous social movements have had one focus - for example the Feminist Revolution, the Gay Rights movement, Carson's fight against DDT and other atmospheric pollutants - all one major focus.

Climate change literally changes everything.

Our tiny global village that we've created is struggling - we've bitten off more than we can chew and now the people and it's government are squirming.

Australia's mining industry has significant leverage and good reason to fight. It's our bread and butter, and it has been for many terms for many governments. It's made Australia competitive on the global market, and raised/maintained our standard of living - Australia really is a superior country to live and love. Am I wrong?

BUT.

For how long can we sustain this way of life if our north, south, east and west coasts all suffer major climatic shifts in the next 10 years? Where's that outlook Ms. Gillard? How will we 'create a better future, together' if together by your definition excludes generation X and Y - who have voiced in numerous ways that they want action. Remember the election in 2007 when you got a bit of a pay rise and a better job? Remember we voted you in because your government outlined a better approach and more desirable outlook on life in 2020-2050?

I'm not going to spend time looking for quotes from IPCC reports, and other scientific proof that climate change is in fact happening now - it's a waste of time. Everyone knows that climate change is happening, everywhere around the world. Get a grip, Ms Gillard. You have fucking consensus.

My 72 year old grandmother experienced her first flood in the north of Bosnia last month - never in her memory had such rains fallen this time of year. They also had a longer and harder winter. The mosqiotoes are in the gazzillions. Fruit and veg is a bit slow this year. Things ARE changing.

Australia has so much potential, as a rich and young country. We have the resources and brain power to create a renewable energy baseload power supply nation wide. We're just lacking a leader who's willing to chew on the leash or choke a little to get it's owner to do what it wants. We've got a little terrior for a leader when what we need is a great dane (punn entirely intended).

I feel a little uncertain about Australia's future, and uneasy about our globalised world - what have we actually come to?

With big hopes for the future, and drive to kick ass when I vote and later when I get home, thanks for reading.

Sej x

Bosna and it's lack of functioning toilets...

OK, so when you go to a country that's in the developmental/reconstructive phase you're not really supposed to expect things to be perfect. But Bosna, to my complete annoyance, has this strange inability to get their shit together....literally!

When I went to check out the first apartment I ever looked at last week, the place was really sweet as were the owners, but the bathroom consisted of a 1x1.5m space, with a small sink, a squat toilet, and a shower head for showering ABOVE THE SQUAT TOILET. Mmmm...yeah.

Let's not get into the nooks and crannies of public toilets except that you should ALWAYS carry tissues, and if there's a roll of paper, steal half of it on your way out. Ha..

But, on a more serious note (!), I have a new place in Sarajevo! Eyyyyyyy!!!!! It's got it's little quirks, like things going wrong with the toilet, but after two days of cleaning (and a few odd jobs in the next week or two), this place is turning out to be quite sweet. I've managed to score the bottom floor of a house to myself. Upstairs are the owners - a family of 8. There's mum, Amela who's 35. Dad, Sadik, 42. Then the kids...Merijem (15), Aisha (13), Fatima (9ish), Lejla (7), Amina (5) and Muhamed (3). And the cat whose name is Chiribu or something....didn't quite get that one!

They're the cutest kids. Yesterday day I enjoyed Amela's eggs for breakfast with Muhamed, who loved the salami I shared with him. Think I won his love..he visited me about another 6 times during the day, each time with a new stain on his t-shirt, a new dose of that 3 year old snotty charm and babbly conversation. They're all really smiley and happy go lucky. It's probably got something to do with the fact that their contact with the internet and TV is quite limited, and this house is nestled amongst fruit trees and greenery - meaning they're outside most of the day.

Sarajevo is a pretty old city, so when you're as close to the centre as I am, you don't really expect a garden. It's nice!

In my last blog I mentioned working in an environmnetal activist group. Well, I had a snoop around and found a group called Eko Akcija - who mostly work on projects as they crop up but their main aim is to bring awareness about the environment to the public, and highlight the governments short comings. An example: there's a super highway getting built and it's supposed to be going through Prenj (which is a national park). So Eko Akcija isn't against the highway, they'd just like to see more responsible development...cool! So I've told them that I have some time and they've asked me to maybe help with some translation, and also some water related issues. I'll be volunteering about 2-3 days a week maybe, but I'm starting properly in late July/early August.

The other topic I promised was politics. Very briefly, Bosnia and Hercegovina has 3 presidents. Each one represents the major ethnic groups, the Muslim Bosnians, Catholic Croatians, and Greek Orthodox Serbs. They have a four year term as per usual, except that they take turns of being leader for 8 months. Each president is part of a different office, meaning different administration. This means that a lot of tax payers money ends up in the poorly maintained toilet, figuratively speaking.

This sort of government, as far as the street has taught me, gets very little done and the politicians have far too much money. It also means that the essential departments such as water utilities, healthcare, power, civil works and so on are always behind with work, and there's always someone else to blame.

Water authorities, to my amazement, don't exist. I'm not entirely sure about who does the water treatment here and to what capacity. As far as I've been able to construct from conversations with a few different groups of people, the sewers here are combined. For those who don't know what that means - combined sewers put the stormwater from the streets and gutters together with the wastewaters from homes and industry. This sort of water conveyance was phased out in Australia and the States decades ago. So I suspect this combined water is directed to a river somewhere. It's a little scary. And a little freaky that no one really seems to know what happens to water!

There's an election here in November, and in Australia as far as I've been told. I get to vote in two seperate countries in one month! Two votes one day, queen of the world tomorrow!!

Alright, I'll stop punishing you all.

Enough toilet humour.

Thanks for reading and for all your awesome feedback :-)

Sej xx

Deep Roots..

I've spent nearly a week in Sarajevo and it kind of feels pretty homey. I have to say that I'm looking forward to finding a place and unpacking my bag for a little while, getting out my bits and pieces that remind me of the people that I love and fill my fridge with the amazing seasonal summer fruit and veg.

I've been thinking a lot about what home means, and what this identity issue means to me. The time I've spent here has really put me in amongst a community that think my story is relatively normal and common compared to others. The more time I spend at this hostel, the more times I've repeated and retold my story - each time it's slightly different in level of detail and length.

What it comes down to really - my identity hasn't got much to do with where I'm from at the end of the day - it's more about where I feel comfortable investing my time and with who I choose to spend it with. I don't have to be Bosnian or Australian necessarily - it's more about how much of an understanding I have of both of those cultures that affects how I fit within them. Obvious maybe? I'm almost sure that I've come to this conclusion in one way or another at some other time, otherwise I'd be incapable of making friends in either culture.

There's a distinct difference between the Bosnian community here in Bosnia and the ones over in Australia. The youth that I've spent some time with here are all pretty clued into the politics, official and unofficial. They all seem to have a pretty good grip on why the country is still so unorganised and often in a complete administrative mess. They're all studying - and studying hard, so have this amazing understanding of the world. I heard a statistic the other day that nearly 70% of annual government expenses go towards administration - since there are 3 presidents at any one time and each needs their own office and team. I'll get onto what that means in a minute, but my point here is that people of all ages have evolved within this society since the war. No one appreciates the atrocities in the 90's in any way - obviously - and everyone pretty much agrees that no one side got anything out of it. The whole thing was a complete waste...of everything, unfortunately. But the important point here is that they've grown as the city has been rebuilt, and things have changed, they've changed.

The Bosnian youth and older generations in Australia however are a bit behind - I don't have any memories of talking Bosnian politics with anyone apart from my parents back home...what the fuck's with that? I wonder if they know how the local and national governments work, and what life is actually like here. This has left the Bosnian community in Melbourne in the past a little - most people associate Bosnia with pre-war lives and any family holidays that they've gone on. It's a damn shame. This place isn't greater than what it was, it's different. I just find it a little wierd that some of the Bosnian Australians that I've known in my time can be so patriotic when they have no real idea of what Bosnia has evolved into since they left it.

This country isn't unsafe.

Sarajevo isn't a place filled with pick pockets.

Sarajevo has it's scars, but it's not a tortured city under siege any more - it's beautiful, vibrant, bubbling with life and full of mosques, cathedrals, churches, synagogues, and other temples. It's full of galleries and museums, bookshops, cafes and bars, and people who always 'know a guy' if you need something.

This place is amazing - the people here are incredible.

Every non-Bosnian speaking visitor that I've met feels a sense of anger towards the US, UN and Serbia in some ways. They've spoken to me about how they're so angry about the fact that a war that took a month to stop in 1995 was allowed to go on for 5 long years. Why was Sarajevo under siege for 4 years? It's nice to know that there is a whole generation of people coming through here and seeing Sarajevo/Bosnia for what it really is, not associating it with the images that the media portrayed in the 90's. Hopefully the bad reputation that the war has left behind will be obliterated as more people see it as an attractive tourist destination.

Today a convoy of trucks adorned with flowers and roses passed through the city on their way to Potocari, in Srebrenica, which is on the mid-east boarder with Serbia. It's a town where the biggest genocide occurred since WW2, and Sunday is the official day of recognising/mourning for all the fallen souls. The trucks were full of coffins filled with the remains of bodies that have taken this long (15 years!!)to be sorted and identified since they were found in mass graves in various locations around Bosnia. These trucks were big, and there were about 6 or 7 of them. A man standing close by told me that the trucks were transporting 700 coffins.

I cannot really begin to describe the atmosphere at the main square in the Old Town of Sarajevo for the 5 minutes that it took for these trucks to go past. And this happens every year.


On a brighter note. I went to Vrelo Bosna yesterday for my birthday, which is this amazing natural spring that is the main source of drinking water for a part of Sarajevo. It was heaven on earth! And it truly made my birthday very special - thank you Abby for coming with me and for coming into my life in such a beautiful way! I also went out last night with a bunch of locals, who took me to a place called Sloga. It was a trashy-music turbo-folk kind of nightclub. I had a great night - got to bed by 4.30am, and woke up fully clothed. Oh. Dear.

Hmm...think I may leave politics and my new volunteering position with an environmental activist group for another time - this got way longer than intended!!

Thanks for reading!

Hope you're all getting through winter :-)

Sej xo

Saraj-evo-ti-sve

So guys.

This is it.

I'm here - arrived in Sarajevo yesterday morning at sleepy 6am - in the midst of Bosnia's cultural centre, from eons before me and the more recent drama from the 90's.

Fuck, it is a COOL city. In two days, this city has delivered so much and all at my fingertips. Here's a short little spin on what I've experienced so far. I got into a cab yesterday and got completely ripped off, and taken to a hostel that I really didn't want to be in.

Little did I know at the time - I was mostly relying on my gut instinct (and I have to insert here that my gut is VERY confused at the moment with all the anxiety I've been feeling) but my leaving that first hostel was SO crucial.

I am now staying at Haris Youth Hostel - a place that was born post war, by a 15 year old (Haris - a year my junior)! This kid. Started. A. Hostel. From. Nothing. At. 15. And he had been here in this house his whole life and through the craziness that was the war.

I've had the enormous pleasure of hanging out with some local girls and guys that I met by accident at a music festival in Zagreb a few weeks ago.

I've met Haris' parents, who have now offered to help me find a place. I've gone and inspected an appartment which is very close to this hostel - situated about 15 minutes from the main old town square (bas carsija). Still have to look at a few places tomorrow, but it's all looking incredibly promising.

I've seen the most amazing sunset - overlooking Sarajevo - something that would be across the road if I take this first apartment.

I'll add more in my next entry about the emotional and anxiety ridden roller coaster ride that I've been experiencing. Also something I must get my head around before I can write about it.

Thanks for reading!

A small shout out to Dane for all of your support, and to my family for their persistance with contacting me - I love hearing from all of you, and love YOU even more.

Emily Lois if you're out there - I miss your guts.

Thanks for reading!

Cao cao for now :-)

Sej xo

P.S. 'evo ti sve' means 'you can have everything' - that little punn's for you Laura Harris xoxoxx

Video posting is a problem...shit!

Hey guys

So I have about 3 or 4 vids I want to post but have some technical problems!

My vids are .MOD files, and I need to change them to .AVI files so that I can edit them and then post them.

Any ideas would be awesome!! Free ones especially!!!!!!!!

Thanks

Sej xx

Grandma Love

So..Last Friday I arrived in the Republic of Serbian part of Bosnia, in the north. A little town called Gradiska, where my parents grew up and where my grandmothers are at the moment. It has been mind blowingly difficult to be here. Really hard.

This family here is in an incredibly challenging environment, socially, physically and emotionally...all the time. This area is now dominated with people from a Serbian background - most of which moved in during the war as refugees. But they never left, and took over the houses that were originally built by Bosnian muslim families.

The youth here are largely unmotivated and hugely scared from their own first hand experience through civil war and the repercussions that followed. Most of them finish school - nothing fancy and usually with average grades. Some go on the university if they're lucky, but when they finish they struggle to find work. So they usually have little motivation for anything extraordinary - and they don't really believe in themselves.

The older generations are just getting by. The life they have here is kind of all they know. Most of them have some kind of mediacation for some kind of illness...and they have a lot of nasty memories.

In amongst all of this tragedy and wierdness though, I've found that somehow these older and younger generations are still quite positive and seem to have things to laugh about and be greatful for. My grandmothers especially. They're both extremely greatful women and huge pilars of strength.

I've learnt a lot about my parent's upbringing and what they went through, the kind of households they grew up in, etc. Things that never made sense in my own childhood and upbringing are now making sense. That part has been mind blowing and has seriously affected my own ability to reflect and understand my own mum and dad in a whole new light.

This is largely what I came here to work out.

But in saying that, there is still Sarajevo.

Thanks for reading!

Sej xx

One week, many lessons...

18 June 2010

Today, I celebrate the conclusion of a full week away from Australia, and a week here in the land where my life started – Croatia.

Normally a week is so fast when I’m in Melbourne, but somehow this week was like I was a chipmunk on speed, watching the world go past in slow motion. It was almost like something was a wrong – something was kind of missing. It took me a while to get over the jetlag, but it also took a lot longer than I expected to accept my present situation, location, emotions, surroundings and sense of now. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions with trying to get a grip of where I am and the path ahead in the next 5 months before Dane’s arrival, on top of actually having to be present, here, with the people I’ve come to see and actually be present with. Holy Moley. Bring it on!

I joined my family here in Croatia a week ago – unbeknownst to me it was their busiest week of the year. My dad’s younger brother Almir, has a beautiful family of 5, with Alma (23), Marijana (20) and Anita (17), and my lovely aunt Marija. Almir is sort of like a guidance counsellor at a dormitory for kids between 15-19in Zagreb, who are in a boarding school kind of situation for their senior years of high school. Marija is a school counsellor at the local primary school where they live – Ivanic Grad (about a 45min drive from Zagreb). Alma is a final year social work student in Zagreb, Marijana is a first year law student in Zagreb, and Anita has just finished the equivalent of year 11 at school. So they’re all very caught up in study, marking sheets, putting in the extra hours. Today was the last day for Almir, Marija and Anita, but the older girls still have exams coming up.

It’s been really cool watching them all go around their day to day work – their lives aren’t so different to mine in Melbourne – trying to balance their personal goals in amongst the people they love and want to include. They all have such amazingly open hearts, and I honestly couldn’t have been made to feel more welcome.

I’ve spent a lot of time with Marijana and found that we have quite a lot in common in terms of demeanour, but she’s also one of those people that seems to do everything they possibly can to make life good for you, and genuinely feel a sense of guilt when they sense you’re not having the time of your life. For a law student who’s about to go into an exam covering the overarching history of law in Croatia’s middle ages..covered in over 700 pages of text she’s reading (at first a one-brow-raising topic, but brain numbing after about a page..to put it lightly), I’m touched. This young lady is truly magic. I’ve learned a lot from her about patience, and what it means to truly give.

I’ve spent a bit of time with Marija as well and a lot of that time has been while she’s doing something, or we’re cooking together. She seems to always be doing something and using her time to be productive in some way. She never stops, and is the solid foundation keeping everyone’s belly’s full, listening to and caring about their problems, welcoming me with soup, delicious foods, bathroomy goodness and a bed to sleep in as soon as I got through the door. Absolutely amazing. So full of life, and so incredibly strong.

I’ve spent time with Almir, but I’m planning on video blogging that part.

Anita and Alma are still a bit of a mystery in some ways. Anita has spent most of the time that I’ve been here in her world, understandably. Alma lives in a flat in Zagreb so I’m going to see her next week one on one when we go to a music festival next to a man-made lake in Zagreb.

I’ve really come to love this family in many ways, and am so happy to have been in their home for a bit longer this time around. I’m looking forward to developing more of an ongoing connection with them from here on in. I don’t think I could have done that from Australia since starting a relationship of any sort is incredibly tricky when you have nothing to really base it on.

The next chapter of the puzzle will be in Zagreb and then I’m off to the Motherland for the first time.

Can’t wait!

Thanks for reading J

Hugs from Sejla

Welcome! Dobro Dosli!

Hidey ho! Hey! Cao! Bok!

Welcome to my very first and fresh blog, coming to you directly from the Balkan region of Europa :-)

I'm writing this somewhat for my own reasons, but also to keep friends and family posted about how I'm going in my travels...what I've been seeing/hearing/smelling/tasting/realising...you get it!

I'm not quite sure who exactly will be reading this so for now I'm just going to assume it's people that know me...and maybe later I'll have some new and unknown followers. Actually, I have a few aims:

- I want this to be a way to stay in touch with people...I usually personally don't like getting a group email from friends that are travelling. This is the alternative in my view! I'd rather send individual emails to people as I go!

- In a way I'd like to have flowing dialogue about what I'm experiencing and I'd like to record it using different mediums. I'll be blogging, writing a journal (which you guys will not see), record some video footage and also take photos. I'm hoping to upload some of the recording and photography as I go along....I kind of wanted to boycot Facebook in that way.

- I want to hear your thoughts too...if you have questions about the region or what I'm doing, please share! I want to learn as much as I can and take away as much as I can in terms of knowledge/experience. If you see me doing something and have tips...please comment!

Anyway...I should probably give a bit of background about this whole thing as well.

I had a colourful childhood. It was pretty different to most of the people that I know, and there are still a lot of loose ends - things that I either don't know enough about or don't understand in some way. I was born in Croatia, in a small town southwest of Zagreb, called Karlovac. Both of my parents are Bosnian, but were living there at the time because of my dad's work. We lived in Karlovac right up until the civil war in Bosnia started in 1991. My family then started to move around a lot. We went back to Bosnia and lived in various towns with different families, until we decided to escape as refugees in 1992. So we left.

We went towards Denmark, but ended up in Sweden, where we stayed in a refugee camp for about 8 months. I was 6 at the time, getting pretty close to 7. Mum had an aunt in Canberra, in the Australian Capital Territory. We got in contact with her and while we were at the camp, visas and plane tickets were organised for us to move to Australia permanently. Big move, folks!

Neither of my parents spoke English, let alone me and my sister. They had no idea what Australia looked like, only that there were kangaroos and how to say hello - thanks to an english teacher who happened to be at the camp at the same time as us.

We arrived on Australian shores in August of 1993 and we stayed in Canberra for 10 years. I know, this is the part where most of you will be starting to feel pity, but really, I'm ok. My head only just stopped spinning from all the roundabouts last year... :-)

My childhood and schooling in Canberra was pretty normal in terms of Aussie culture. Fun, even! It was a very different kind of lifestyle to what my parents knew so naturally it came with challenges. We had very little family there and very few relatives. But then a lot of mum's family started to move to Canberra as well and we felt a bit more at home. Towards the end of the 10 years that we were there though, a lot of the family we had there had decided to move to Melbourne for a number of reasons. Namely better life opportunities - more job variety, more of a Bosnian community, more exposure to the culture that was forcefully lost. So when my sister was ready for university, my family decided to move once again - ANOTHER life change.

So we've all been in Melbourne for nearly 6 years - and it's been amazing! I've made amazing friends, got a degree, moved outa home, got a job. Towards the end of uni - when I realised that I was moving into a completely different chapter of my life...work....I thought that there was something fairly major missing.

I had no idea where I was from...I only knew Bosnia and Croatia from a distance and had lived in this community vicariously through my parents - who, might I mention, had over time lost touch with what was actually going on back in ol' Europa. They only knew what they knew...and it had become less and less accurate the more time they spent away from it.

I realised that I would never really fully understand them as Bosnians, nor would I understand the Bosnian in me, unless I went back and explored. Immersed myself in the culture and just live there for a while.

It took me a couple of years to prepare...of course there was the money saving, but there was a lot of mental preparation. I needed to be sure I could be completely independant first. Then I needed to be ok with the idea of such a big undertaking. Anyway...2 and a half years later....I'm sitting in Ivanic Grad, about an hour south east of Zagreb in Croatia, writing my first ever Blog entry!

WoooHoo!

This is the beginning of many blogs, videos and photos that will appear on the net for you guys.

I hope to capture as much as I can using these mediums so that I can look back on occasion and remind myself of what I came here to do and also what actually happened!

I hope you enjoy!

Thanks for reading :-)

Hugs to you all.
Sej xo